What ushers should know

All ushers should be at the location about 45-60 minutes before the ceremony will begin. Upon their arrival, they should put on their boutonnieres if they haven’t already.

Ushers should smile, be friendly, and greet the guests as they escort them to their seats.

Traditionally, the usher offers his right arm to the woman (the oldest woman if a group or family is being escorted.

Another option: the ushers can walk the guests to their seats rather than offering their arm.

Family and friends of the bride are seated on the left side of the aisle (facing the altar) and the groom’s family and friends on the right. If one side becomes more full than the other, the ushers should begin seating guests on the other side.

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The Processional

The following is a typical order to a Wedding Processional. It can certainly be modified based on your particular situation.

The groom, best man and Officiant enter by using a side door. They all stand facing the guests.

An usher escorts the grandmother(s)of the bride to their seats.

An usher escorts the grandmother(s)of the groom to their seats.

An usher escorts the mother of the groom to her seat.

An usher escorts the mother of the bride to her seat.

The ushers walk down the aisle (or escort the bridesmaids) and stand next the groom and best man and then face the guests.

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10 Questions for those contemplating marriage

1. Is the person you're marrying your best friend or at least becoming so? If the person you marry does not become your best friend, you will either seek someone who will be or simply drift apart.

2. Do you miss the person when you are not together?

3. Aside from sex, do you enjoy each other?

4. How much of your love is dependent on the sex you are having?

5. Does the person have a number of good friends and at least one very close friend of the same sex?

6. How does the person treat others? How the person treats others now is how this person will treat you later.

7. What do people you respect think of the person you're considering marrying? You would do so regarding the purchase of a car, wouldn't you? Yet no car will affect your life nearly as much as your spouse.

8. What problems do the two of you now have? Whatever problems you have before the wedding day, you will have during your marriage.

9. How often do you fight? It may be normal for couples to fight, but it is usually a bad sign if you are doing so with any frequency while dating.

10. Do you share values? The more you share, the better your chances of a good marriage.

Be true to yourself, and your potential spouse

One of the reasons that people divorce is because they find themselves married to people who are very different from the ones they were dating.

For example, when Susan was dating Bruce, he was the perfect gentleman and very helpful with her household chores. She likewise was always smiling, sweet smelling and attentive to his every move. After they were married, Bruce turned into a slovenly couch potato while Susan turned into a nag.

The truth is , they were both always that way. They just refused to show that side to each other because they didn’t want to lose the relationship.

The point is that all too often marriage can become the time to unleash everyone’s worst behavior and bad habits.

Folks, if you’re aiming to make your happy ever after last your lifetimes and not just a couple of years, you need to be true to yourself and to each other.

Everybody has expectations and non-negotiables. The sooner you know which is which, the better it will be for your marriage.

Communication is the key here. It means seriously discussing what you are willing to do for each other, whether it be chores or finances, and what is just utterly unacceptable.

You’ll get to know each other better in the process and have a more stable foundation for your married life.

The First Dance

One of the best things about weddings, it’s your party, and you are automatically king and queen of the event! Traditionally, for the First Dance, you’ll be doing the two step. Basically that means picking a song that you can sway and take two steps to as you stand on the floor.

If you're not a ballroom dancer, you might want to learn to dance one very special number. Hire a choreographer if you need one. And show off!

If you’ve only danced modern dances, you’ll find that ballroom dances are truly a blending of the skills of two people. You need to work with your partners strengths and catch the rhythm together. It may take a lot of practice so that you move and look beautifully together. After all, dancing should be beautiful to watch as well as execute.

Of all ballroom dances, the waltz is the favorite for weddings. The good news is that it is fun and easy to learn. And also easy to dance in a wedding gown.

Or if you really dance well together, why not go for the drama of a tango and heat up the floor. Make it absolutely scorching!

Whichever dance you choose, have fun!

Wedding etiquette

An engagement party may be hosted by the couple or either set of parents. Don’t expect a gift at this party.

If this is your second marriage and you have children, by all means include them in the wedding. One way is to let them give you away. It will make it a lot easier for them knowing you want them to be a part of it.

Wedding etiquette has changed. If it’s your second time around it’s alright to wear white.
If it’s your first time around it’s o.k. to wear a color.

The groom’s mother should talk to the bride’s mother about what she should wear. It’s only good wedding etiquette.

Everyone should feel comfortable at the reception. Use place cards at the tables so people will be with others that they are compatible with. Have a seating chart where they enter so that they don’t have to search for their table.

Receiving lines are not necessary at a small and informal wedding. You can just mingle and introduce people.

It is just not cool or good wedding etiquette to ask for cash only as a gift for your wedding. In fact it’s down-right tacky.

Your thank-you notes should be sent out within two to four weeks after the wedding. Don’t forget to mention the specific gift and how you plan to use it.

Wedding Themes

Creating a wedding theme can be as simple as picking certain colors or as elaborate as your budget allows.

Some simple wedding themes you could consider:

Beach- Have everyone in the wedding party dressed in white linen or gauze. Or use aqua blues and sea greens. Decorate with seashells and sand. You can add beautiful shells to your cake too! Keep it natural and light.

Western wedding themes- Think bandanas, arriving on horseback, and barbecue food for the reception.

Midsummer- Wear flowers in your hair and keep the wedding party's clothes light. Use sunflowers and daises everywhere. An informal picnic in a garden-like setting.

Some tips on Wedding Vows

Wedding vows are very personal and should reflect you and your fiancé’s personalities and feelings for each other. Having said that, you can:

Find pre-written vows and just fill in the blanks.

Write a letter to one another proclaiming you love and devotion.

Use poetry to express your feelings, or incorporate song lyrics that have special meaning to you and your fiancé.

Use Bible passages or writings from your faith in your vows.

Don’t forget to use your sense of humor where appropriate.

Use a short story about how you met or things you have in common to add a special touch.

Print your vows on pretty paper and distribute before the ceremony. Or print your vows on small cards and place at each setting in the reception.

Choosing a wedding location

The secret to finding a beautiful and unique wedding location is to do your homework and some searching. You have choices no matter where you live.

When deciding on wedding locations you must consider whether or not you would like the wedding and reception to be at the same location or separate places. In many cases it is cheaper to remain in the same place.

Consider these unique places as an alternate to the usual banquet hall:

• Small chapels in or around your area with a social hall for the reception.
• Check out Historical Buildings in your town. They are often used for such occasions.
• Garden settings are perfect for outdoor weddings.
• Live near the water? Nothing is as beautiful as a wedding on the beach or lakeside.
• Try a quaint Barn, Farm or Ranch for that country feel.

When you are making the big decision about wedding locations and/or wedding reception locations, consider your budget, of course, and perhaps tying in other elements of the wedding.

If you are going with a running theme, it might help you to narrow down the places that you would use.